.Food Jokes.

Knock knock?
Who’s there?
Mayonnaise.
Mayonnaise a lot of food!

Knock Knock who's there?

Lettuce...

Lettuce who?

Lettuce in and we'll tell you!

What is a balanced diet?
The same amount of cookies in each hand!

A husband apple and a wife apple were having a discussion.
"Honey, you seem upset..." said the husband apple to his wife apple.
"Yes dear, I am." she replied.
"What is the matter?" he asked.
The wife apple would not say what the matter was and she kept hesitating.
Finally, the husband apple got very upset, and demanded to his wife apple, "You better tell me what is wrong! I want to get to the CORE of things!"
 

What did the mother ghost tell the baby ghost when he ate too fast?

Stop goblin your food.

 
What do you get when you put three ducks in a box?

A box of quackers.

Why did the student eat his homework?

The teacher told him it was a piece of cake.

 
What did the hungry computer eat?

Chips, one byte at a time.

 
Why do fish avoid the computer?

So they don't get caught in the Internet.

 
What did the cannibal order for take-out?

Pizza with everyone on it.

 
How can you tell if an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

Footprints in the cheesecake.

 
What's in an astronaut's favourite sandwich?

Launch meat.

 
What do cats call mice on skateboards?

"Meals on Wheels."

 
Why do you eat so fast?

I want to eat as much as possible before losing my appetite.

 
What did the mayonnaise say to the refrigerator?

Close the door, I'm dressing!

 
What did the left eye say to the right eye?

Between us, something smells.

 
Jack: Would you like some Egyptian Pie?
Jill: What's Egyptian pie?
Jack: You know, the kind mummy used to make.
 
The customer asked: "Do you serve crabs here?"
"Yessir," replied the waiter. "We'll serve just about anybody."

 
What starts with "t" ends with "t" and is filled with "t"?

A teapot.

 
Why did the man eat at the bank?

He wanted to eat rich food.

 
What does the richest person in the world make for dinner every night?

Reservations.

 
Why don't chickens play sports?

Because they hit fowl balls.

 
What has ears but can't hear a thing?

A cornfield.

 
Where does a bat eat his dinner?

On home plate, and he has a ball.

 
What's the worst thing about being an octopus?

Washing your hands before dinner.

 
What did one knife say to the other?

Look sharp!

 
Why did the man stare at the can of orange juice?

Because it said 'concentrate.'

 
How does the man in the moon eat his food?

In satellite dishes.

 
Did you hear the joke about oatmeal?

It's a lot of mush.